Super Tuesday: The writing has been on the wall since late January

The flurry of primaries and caucuses on “Super Tuesday,” along with the smattering of races that fall before it, have been calculated to serve one purpose only: to give the former Confederate States an unfair early advantage in manipulating each party’s presidential races. The only big southern state not included in the action is Florida.

So it is no surprise that Hillary Clinton, given her generally far greater name recognition among Southerners (particularly black voters) than Vermont Senator Bernie Sanders, swept Dixie. I am not going out on a limb by saying that Hillary is going to be the Democrats’ presidential nominee – but do not discount the Sanders factor in that he will push the party platform – and Hillary – a little bit to the left.

Meanwhile, back in the great red nation of the GOP, everything that party chairman Reince Priebus had put into place to prevent a rerun of 2012 – a compacted primary season, a big crop of competent candidates, and an earlier convention – has blown up in his face with even greater force than the latest Acme gadget purchased by Wile E. Coyote. Late last year, the press became enamored with the Chauncey Gardner of brain surgery, Ben Carson – only to discover that the real way to draw eyeballs and sell newspapers was to go Trump 24-7. Texas Senator Ted Cruz, who comes across more and more as the evil offspring of Ghostbusters‘ Dr. Peter Venkman and televangelist über-scammer Robert Tilton, is seriously underperforming, and to say Florida Senator Marco Rubio is not ready for prime time is, well, about the kindest way to put it.

The GOP is now bracing for a convention in which the plurality of votes will go to a game show host and erratic though frequently successful real estate mogul. There are already rumblings that the Republican “old guard” and their millionaire backers are planning… well, something to see to it that “Der Drumpf”* is procedurally defeated and a more acceptable candidate – perhaps loser Mitt “Kill the 47%” Romney – is given the party’s blessing.

It’s not a clown car driving around the Party of Lincoln – it’s a full-blown Cuckoo’s Nest, and the inmates have commandeered a Hummer with Stinger missiles.

So grab the popcorn. This is going to be an hellacious but entertaining election season. Game on!

* Drumpf? Yes, Drumpf! In case you missed it, it is worth watching the entire 21 minutes.

Dave “Doctor” Gonzo is a renegade record producer, writer, reformed corporate shill, and still-registered lobbyist for non-one-percenter performing artists and musicians. He lives in a heavily fortified compound in one of Manhattan’s less trendy yet eminently artsy neighborhoods. He writes for American Politics Journal, Liberaland, and Freakout Nation.

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