Sometimes Americans Just Fall Right in Line

tea party bowling team
The USA Tea Party – thugs, smarties, and users

Sometimes Americans Just Fall Right in Line

by Jeff Koopersmith

I saw a colleague use this image last week on Twitter and thought I just had to place it in American Politics Journal because it so epitomizes the differences between the North and South of the United States.  For one thing this group is celebrating a flag that means – in truth – Let’s keep slavery alive in America. For another the clothing, shades, hip-worn jeans, and the no bra look are also deeply southern – but not charming.

The Tea Party pretends to stand for no government interference in life, but in the end simply stands for freedom to do things that most people with a moral compass don’t do. That makes sense, since people with backgrounds that celebrate true freedom – although none of us truly enjoy it -don’t normally do things that are out of bounds within societal prescripts.  That’s not to say that we all don’t break the law sometimes. Some of us cheat a little on our taxes, some of us love to drive over the speed limit, and other simply like to push the envelopment which does include some member of the Tea Party I must admit.

The research done on and with Tea Party is mixed but certain facts stand out, even as the those persons not fitting the “rule” are used as defense.

For instance, the average Tea Party member is not well-educated. In fact according to its own leadership only 2% have earned college degrees of any kind, and only half of those from a four-year accredited university.  That small percentage however, controls the pack should it wish to – and it does.

In essence that is where the term “teatard” comes in except that it has two meanings. I have to tell you that I invented that term just weeks after the Tea Party (at least one of them) held their first demonstrations in Washington DC – my second hometown, and where I spent 35 years working as an analyst, strategist, and legislative counsel (aka lobbyist ) for “greenish” clients.

Today I am semiretired but still write op-ed from the left side of the track, however I do believe in the 2nd amendment – while not believing in killing anything living.  That means I believe everyone has the right to carry arms within reason, but they have no right to kill innocent creatures that we do not need to survive. I do think, however, that defending ones home is at least an important consideration in these times.

A “teatard” believes that we should all carry weapons all the time, most of them anyway. They also believe, some of them, that we should have to pay taxes for things we don’t use or need.  This is a very complex teatardian question because implicit in the query is a need to be a both a masters degree budget analyst and someone who believes that what they read in budgets reflects the truth. It most often does not.

A Tea Party member often has an interesting but low-key rap sheet. You will find DUIs, domestic abuse, truancy, petty theft and more on many tea party background checks.  The typical tea party student has a grade point average of C minus and below.  They didn’t like school, or were already smarter than their teachers – which is not to be doubted in many instances – especially in the deep south, and even the not-so-deep south like the Carolinas.

People of color are not comfortable with the tea party mainly because the teaps appear at least to be racists.  “Nuf said.”

Most tea partiers would never vote for Barack Obama and think that Michelle Obama buts in too much – and is “uppity”.

At the same time, few Tea Party folks will admit they are uncomfortable among other Americans with naturally darker skin, long-term educations, and especially professors.

So there you have it.

What this is, of course, is kind a sentimental goodbye to the Tea Party and its members. What these people will become politically or otherwise is yet to be seen.

I’ll be back once I kind find ’em.


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