Jeff Koopersmith pleads with Alaska's reigning "Idiot-irad" champion to stick the race out.
September 30, 2008 – Geneva (apj.us) – I have started to love Sarah Palin.
You have to hand it to her: she has more chutzpah than a New York diamond broker with a briefcase full of rocks on 47th and 7th. And I have to add that I trust her a million times more than John McCain, hero and madman.
This week, anyone who counts is trying to convince her to quit her candidacy for Vice President of the United States of Bankruptcy simply because she's rumored to be a moron with the most irritating cartoon voice in American political history.
One wonders if all Alaskans are hard of hearing.
Sarah: please don't quit! Don't let people put you down just because you are stupid, ill- informed, undereducated, and weird. You have a right to talk in tongues, to believe that Satan is behind every tree, and that certain books should be banned or burned because the Devil had a hand in writing them.
After all, what could be more American?
And lying? Why not? Look at our leading banks and financial institutions. They lie about everything. Our corporations lie about how much money they earn – or, better yet, lose.
So why shouldn't you lie too?
Who cares if you were the nation's biggest earmark pig per capita, begging the Congress for one more gimme? Who cares if you pushed the bridge to nowhere and then decided to keep the money instead to build a hockey arena for your soon-to-be(-not) son-in-law? Who cares if you offer rewards for killing animals? Who cares if people suspected that your daughter had the baby you now claim as your own?
What a rotten thing to say!!!!
I say stick with it, Sarah. You're our secret weapon. You can do anything. You might even be able to become the Queen of England – or at least meet her.
But why stop there?
Why not try to become the United Nations Secretary General? You were already there – right at the U.N. Headquarters for an hour or two, and you met several unimportant world leaders.
You could take over for sure and then unite the world and become an Empress of the Galaxy. Once that happens, I am sure that Jesus will end the world as we know it and let everyone into Heaven in celebration.
So don't leave us, Sarah!! Please! Stick around.
And, don't forget to being that list of McCain's reforms to Katie Couric!
Jeff Koopersmith is an internationally renowned political consultant, opinion research authority and policy analyst. He has lobbied for causes including the alternative fuel sector and women's health, and is an expert on the international real estate market. He lives in Philadelphia, Washington and Geneva.