On Coulter: Fuel Me Once…

Jeff Koopersmith on Ann Coulter's latest outburst: now she wants you to murder your kids for oil!

June 27, 2008 – Geneva (apj.us) – Republicans dismiss a vast number of studies that show a link between lower IQs and conservative political alignment, claiming they are biased because the scientists promoting the studies are all "too smart."

For a similar reason, no one should believe Republicans' "Energy policies."

Republicans could not care less about high gas prices. Their consistent policy, going back to the years of Ronald Reagan, has been to jack up gas prices so we can all commute to and from work on skateboards.

"We have a responsibility to our stockholders." That was their mantra.

Well, it turns out that was pretty irresponsible, wasn't it.

Anti-environmentalists are constantly clamoring for higher gas prices – and higher gas taxes – so that Americans will feel compelled to sink oil wells not only in our oceans, but if need be in the middle of Arlington Cemetery. President Clinton proposed a 26 cent gas tax, and 2004 candidate John Kerry proposed doubling it with the proceeds to fund green energy ventures so we wouldn't be in this mess. George Bush Jr. decided instead to screw the environment and just "go for the oil" which will cost us, in the end, $3 trillion dollars, but won't make a darn bit of difference in the long run.

The result? American consumers now pay an average of 46 cents per gallon in gasoline taxes, according to Ann Coulter. What she forgets is that the states are the criminal gas taxes here, not the federal government – not yet, anyway. Coulter also thinks oil companies pay a lot of income tax. They do this year, for sure, but for the most part they paid negligible amounts through a combination of tax loopholes and slick CPA schemes.

Coulter complains that Barack Obama (who she continually calls B. Hussein, which accomplishes nothing but exposing her outright bigotry) wants to hit oil companies with windfall profits taxes. She claims that oil companies will simply raise the price of gasoline to make up for it. She doesn't realize that other measures could be taken to make certain they could not do this – including nationalizing the energy industry. It's clear that if we are willing to murder innocents in Arabia, we might just as casually think about taking control of the energy mess. And why not? It's pretty clear not only that unfettered grabs for cash really didn't work in this case (think Ken Lay), but that the mandarins that control the energy sector have not only looted the treasury and robbed the middle class but undermined our national security.

Republicans have worked hardest to ensure that Americans pay as much or more for fuel than anyone else on earth. They did it through their latest scam – The War on Terrorism® – which shocked the world with its stupidity and awed the markets, which became convinced that one had to "get all the money you can now" because nothing will be left in short order thanks to George Bush Jr. and his boss Dick "Dick" Cheney.

Liberals may say "we can't drill our way out of this crisis," but they mean of course that there isn't enough oil on the planet to satisfy the world that we, The West, have created: an entire planet dedicated to nothing more than making money at the expense of the environment, animals, people, and survivability.  Republicans don't care. They would rather murder a hundred thousand, a million, or two hundred million Arab and "Moozelim" civilians than give up their Range Rovers.

What do Republicans mean anyway? This is like telling a fat man, "You can gorge your way out of being obese." Or telling insecure cable viewers, "You can make even Ann Coulter appear human with plastic surgery!" Or telling "Prosperity Gospel" evangelical devotees, "You can steal your way to Heaven."

Finding more oil won't increase the supply. It will increase the appetite.

Yet this is the typical Republican strategy: babble meaningless slogans like "Drill! Don't Be Fueled."

If they have a plan, it's to ignore every scientist on earth but the ones pulling a "Coulter" and pretending to disagree with all their peers that we cannot abide any further carbon poisoning our earth. Like Coulter, they do it for the cash.

How do Republicans propose we acquire the oil we need for the economic activity and production that results in "light appearing when they flick a switch"? They propose to drill for it in your backyard, suck it from the White House lawn, and pipe it from under the sea. So what if the pipeline explodes once in awhile? We want our MTV, and HBO, and FOX News! And we want it now! "Forget about tomorrow," the GOP tells you, "let your grandchildren worry about it, and their children, and their children's children."

Republicans claim that allowing offshore drilling, inshore drilling, and drilling of the Miami coast might lower gas prices now. The fact is that new supplies of oil could not be delivered for 15-20 years, if at all. By the time we pump it, the Chinese or the Indians, and maybe even the North Koreans will need it to fuel their Mercedes Benzes. We don't have that much time – and the idiots running energy policy, the Republicans, have failed to fund the one thing that would allow us continue to use fossil fuels: some method to capture carbon and get rid of it until we can come up with clean solutions, which will also take a few decades.

Ann Coulter is so dimwitted that she blames her own party, writing only today:

"oreover, what was going on five years ago? Why didn't anyone propose drilling back then?

Yes why? Because people like Coulter are simply blowhards – they talk fables to set their tables for failure.

Coulter then sneers that we need

… a class of people paid to anticipate national crises and plan solutions in advance. It would be such an important job, the taxpayers would pay them salaries so they wouldn't have to worry about making a living and could just sit around anticipating crises.

The irony here is that one of the leading intellects in the Clinton-Gore Administration, Prof. Leon Fuerth, has spent the past decade trying to convince our leaders to do just this.

Of course, Ms. Coulter is completely oblivious to that fact.

She suggests of course that we already have these crisis gurus – our elected representatives – but of course she and her ilk have done all they can, and quite successfully, to keep elected officials from doing anything but making policy. They have n power to anticipate a crisis like this one – or any other, for that matter.

You know the ultra-right. Their watchwords? "Shut government down and you won't notice the difference." They already tried that. It didn't work – in fact, it backfired on them miserably.

Measure the results of Ann Coulter's Republicans. What's the score – 1 or 2 out of 100?

Six years ago, Bush demanded that congress allow drilling in Alaska. Coulter wants to know why this didn't happen. here's the simple answer, Ann, in language easy enough for even you to understand: it didn't happen because George Bush Jr. and his gang of thugs had ZERO credibility upon entering office. Bush was then, and is now, the most hated and distrusted president in history – not only in America, but worldwide, where I wouldn't be surprised if even Robert Mugabe is polling higher than our hapless, feckless "popular wartime preznit."

So, tell me, Ann: why would anyone trust him to make demands about anything, let alone to destroy yet again one more pristine place left on the planet?

Coulter claims that if we had only listened to Bush-Cheney, "[w]e'd be gushing oil now" – but the truth is that the oil in Alaska wouldn't even power Chicago for very long, let alone the planet.

This is a global problem, Ann – not a "Palm Beach annoyance," as are you.

Coulter claims that the Democrat motto should be "Kill Kill Kill!" Huh? I thought that was her thing: kill anyone and anything as long at it means domination of the Gulf. Kill! Well, we tried that. We killed and killed and killed – our own children – more than 4000 of them along with an equal number of coalition "contractors: that are not part of the "official" casualty count – and let's not forget the tens of thousands of other children not ours.

And we continue to do so – not just in Iraq, but elsewhere in the world. Just look at the water supply in Colombia if you want to see what irresponsible American oil companies can do to kill Colombian women and kids.

Finally, Coulter, who refuses to believe that Americans are not the only people on earth, insists that no matter what the cost would be to others, we demand OUR oil – even if we have to destroy the planet and murder for it.

There is simply nothing left to say but the obvious: columnist and "constitutional scholar" Ann Coulter is a damned fool.

Tell you what, Ann. Here's a better idea: take the money we spent on killing in the Middle East and distribute it to Americans to offset high-priced gasoline.

If that's what they want, fine – you'll be helping them kill themselves, their families, and people everywhere.

Jeff Koopersmith is a political consultant, opinion research authority, policy analyst, and self-described "renegade lobbyist." He lives in Philadelphia, Washington and Geneva.

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