Each Time I Hear the Words “Dick Morris”

"…I think: ‘Toe-sucking, whoring clapperclaw.’" Jeff Koopersmith has a few things to say about the sleazy FOXpert.

June 26, 2008 – Geneva (apj.us) – Let me begin by recounting, as I see them, a whole lot of revelatory truths about Dick Morris.

First, Morris never came up with a strategy or a winning campaign without Mark Penn or Doug Schoen writing it down for him in easy to understand language, and in an appropriate elementary school notebook – the kind with those blue lines. Second, Morris was and is a disloyal imperious leech and will do anything for a buck.  Even in 1996, when he was caught, for the first time, on film sucking the toes of a third-rate hooker while pretending to be the White House political guru for the Clinton Administration, he was nothing but a desk warmer. It was Mark Penn who got Bill Clinton re-elected in 1996 – not Dick Morris.

I believe that Morris is a fraud in almost every way.  For instance, Morris and his wife cooked up the story that his "hooker-suck" broke up their "wonderful" marriage. In truth, they were "not together" long before Dick "fell in love" with the hooker, according to very good sources and former friends of theirs.  They may be together now, but only to try and make some cash: this time from the radical right instead of the left.

Both the Morrises are enough to make people walk out of restaurants in a snit if they dare to walk in.

Dick Morris is even more hateful than George Stephanopoulos, who whimpered like a girl that President Clinton had lied to him.  Oh, Poor little George – a nobody until Bill Clinton made him, and more importantly trusted him. But why not sell out your King for a chance at ABC?

Morris makes these girlie claims too – for example, "Bill Clinton tried to punch me" because Morris threatened to leave him (tee hee) – not to mention, of course, almost every other assertion he writes or says today.

Like the rest of his pitiful born-again Neocon bosom buddies,  Morris went from kissing the rear of a Democrat president to decrying and insulting the First Lady and his own wife because the Clintons finally found an excuse to get rid of him without entirely ruining his career.  The one mistake the Clintons made with Morris was allowing that joker to say he "resigned" over his shamed-face sexual athletics at the Jefferson Hotel one afternoon. 

Dick Morris, to my way of thinking, wasn't fired because he strayed; he was fired because he was, and is, totally inept.

And today, like every failed political "genius," Morris writes for none other than the laughable rag Human Events alongside other literary luminaries such as Michelle Maglalang Malkin, Ann Coulter and that freaky weasel Michael Medved (who invariably makes me cringe).

This week Morris wrote a column titled "Is Obama Teflon?"

Wait, excuse me, he and his ex-former-maybe-could be-wife wrote it "together."   They share a by-line, you know. What's that about?  I'd guess a post-nuptial agreement, wouldn't you?  What does Eileen McGann "Morris" know about politics except what Dick Morris lied to her about?

Briefly, Morris – who is famed for writing one book after another filled with lies and then writing other lies in the next book that controvert the first ones – attakcs Barack Obama.  Then, of course, Morris is a politcal virtuoso – he knows what's happening. That's why he's been relegated to "contributing" to foreign campaigns for tiny-nation sociopaths, thieves, and worse.

The Morrises indict Senator Obama for accepting private contributions instead of pin money from the U. S. Government when in fact Obama can raise two and three times the amount allocated for the entire campaign by the FEC in a single month.

While it's true that Obama once said he would consider taking public financing, he had no idea then that he would be so beloved and buttressed by small and larger contributions across the political spectrum.

There's one thing Obama isn't – and that's stupid.

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