Bob Barr Is Gonna Run for President!

Can a loud national laugh track be far behind? Jeff Koopersmith gives you the rundown on his favorite "House Mangler."

April 8, 2008 – Lugano (apj.us) –Just when you thought things couldn't get much worse, something happens to make you cackle.

Today it's none other than circus clown Bob Barr who has the gall to think he might run for president of the United States on the Libertarian ticket.

With only 210 days to go before the U.S. general election in November. McCain, Obama, and Clinton must be shaking in their boots.

Bob Barr, looking unhinged.
… and you thought Dick "Dick" Cheney looked unhinged!

Even if he was planning to run in 2012 it would still be hilarious.

If you cannot place the name “Bob Barr” but your stomach is churning acid and you are beginning to foam at the mouth, you're getting warm. Your subconscious is attempting to suppress any memory of him. Relax. Don't fight it. Let it out. Just go with the flow and then break down in tears… of laughter!

That's right: the disgraced Georgian blowhard who was driven out of the Republican Party for his lunatic ways is now gaining potency in the weakest of all earthly political parties, The American Libertarian Party. Yup. That’s right!

This must be Barr’s reward for leading the so-called House Managers into the political graveyard by way of his inane attempt to impeach Bill Clinton. This party is the wacky group that brought you stunning presidential candidates such as… well, I'm sure you recall the names, uh, there was the striking Roger MacBride, Ed Clark, David Bergland, fast fading (again) megastar Ron Paul (no relation to Ru Paul), Harry Browne, and the infamous Michael Badnarik. That's just to name the presidential losers. Keep in mind that the libertarians don't fool around and count many dog catchers, city clerks, and fire marshals in the success rolls. Read their website to see their enormous political power in America.

Law Office of Barr
Barr's secret headquarters

Anyway, Barr, who has his own web site, BobBarr.org   (as if he was a non-profit organization), is now practicing law within the heady bowels of the totally secret "Law Offices of Edwin Marger" in urban sprawl Jasper, Georgia (see photo) and also runs his "consulting firm" laughingly called "Liberty Strategies" in Atlanta (with offices in Washington, D.C. "area," most likely the locker room at the Alexandria YMCA) This consultancy also seems to be non-profit venture inasmuch as it's web address is LibertyStrategies.org.

Hey! No laughing! Now, Edwin Marger is no flake. He is a fine criminal lawyer (taking cases the run the gamut from shoplifting to murder– lucky for Bob) and has a strange resemblance to Kentucky Fried Chicken's Colonel Sanders.

Edwin Marger
Did someone say finger lickin’ good?

Old Bob's firm specializes in– you guessed it– "Government Affairs, Public Relations, Grassroots 'Activism' (read: Astroturfing), and International Affairs."

The firm’s six principals have "over 100 years" experience. I can't help but picture half a dozen 17-year-olds. What these nice people are doing working for Barr is anyone's guess, but "for the money" might be the best one, although Barr does not list any clients, past or present, on his web site.

The firm, if you want to laugh even more, lists the American Civil Liberties Union (under Bob Barr "enterprises") and the Marijuana Policy Project (whoa, duuude!) as two of its clients on its lobbying board, however.

Barr's firm also does work for another lobby firm that throws him their bones – Raben.

The biggest hoo-hah, though, is the firm's listed representation of Donna Curling, the wife of data mining giant ChoicePoint's chief. ChoicePoint came under fire for its acquisition of the company responsible for the “phony felon” voter list which stopped tens of thousands of minorities in the 2000 elections in Florida from voting.

Can you say George W. Bush did not win?

Anyway, you get the picture. Bob is sort of a dismal failure in the private sector, so he's making a bid for the White House. That makes sense– after all, it worked for George Bush Junior, too!

Now this is the kind of White House play that someone like Pat Buchanan makes– only Pat is much smarter. His "family business" runs his campaigns with the money he mysteriously gets from donors, most likely by hypnotizing them. This pays his and his extended family’s way for the next several years. Buchanan also gets "mercy appearances" on MSNBC, who hope ol' Pitchfork Pat will say something outlandish.

Barr thinks he can cash in like this, too, by running for president. Then his "firm" can claim they have a partner who is a former presidential candidate. Wily huh?

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: