Maureen Dowd’s Stacked Deck

The New York Times' overrated mean girl plays (a little loose with) the race card. Jeff Koopersmith sets Dowd straight.

April 1, 2008 – Lugano (apj.us) – What gives with MoDo?

She seems to be a submariner, thumping Hillary Clinton for the New York Times too! You’d think she was on their payroll.

Doesn’t Maureen realize that she too is a woman? Doesn’t she think she owes Hillary Clinton – and especially Bill – some loyalty? Without them, she might be a copywriter at The Onion – with them she’s become an iconette.

I adore(d) her until I read her not-too-well camouflaged slam on Hillary Clinton in the Times this past week – a newspaper which seems to be trying to corner the market on “Hillwhacking.”

Ms. Dowd believes that the presidency is about “magic.” “Really.” (She added “really,” not me!)

She also thinks she can get away with a disguised but bigoted double-entendre by describing Senator Barack Obama as a “skinny guy” with a “strange name” and a “braided history.”

That sounds a little too much like dreadlocks, Maureen – very bad taste.

Why Dowd goes on to reference someone as un-well-known as Bernie Kouchner, French President Nicholas Sarközy’s foreign minister, in order to tell us that official Europe is anti-American seems silly. Of course they abhor us (no pun intended) – and as someone who plans to live in Europe as much as possible until Bush leaves office, I agree.

But why mention Kouchner? Is she dating him? Je suis jaloux! Ah – I see – her tie-in was that Mr. Kouchner told her the magic is over.

I and many other guys who have lived in Washington for any length of time have a thing for Maureen Dowd. As a comrade once told me, “She’s sexy and spankable.” Yes, and she’s wise and ridiculous as well; all alluring traits in a woman.

Dowd upbraids Kootchy Kouchner for this: “Pas si vite, mon vieux]” [Not so fast, my old man], she writes and goes on to compare the Obamas to Carla Bruni and her boy toy Sarközy. (Maureen did not translate the French for those who are not couth).

Sorry, MoDo, but Carla has it all over Barack.

The tragedy of all tragedies: Maureen Dowd – yes, Maureen Dowd – uses a character from that loathsome Harry Potter serial to describe Hillary Clinton as “Lady Voldemort,” which means something like “flight of death.” Kind of brawny there, huh, Maureen?

Probably Mo had a little too much Champagne with Mr. Kouchner because she also quoted Sen. Jay Rockefeller (D-Boring), who bought himself West Virginia saying this:

Democrats always make a mistake by nominating people who know everything on earth there is to know about public policy. I introduced both Al Gore and John Kerry at their rallies. They knew all the policies, but people didn’t connect with them. You don’t get elected president if people don’t like you.

First, Maureen, Rockefeller’s remark does not even make sense. What does not liking someone have to do with the ‘victim’ knowing everything about public policy? In Rockefeller’s case, people like him because he’s filthy rich and does not brag about it – much. That's a very American trait – at least in old Boston.

Second, Maureen, you are complementing Hillary Clinton here by inferring she really does know a lot about public policy, which might be helpful if one as pires to be the President of the United States.

Third, you deduce from this statement that Senator Obama does not know much about public policy – but that’s okay, because the primary qualification to be President is to be “people like you.”

Discussing Obama’s boredom with the primary races, poor thing – she claims Mrs. Clinton “sunnily riposted.” (What’s with Dowd? Does she think she’s Bill Safire?) Restated: Hillary sunnily “yet disturbedly answered” that she likes long movies. Really, I think “riposted” is the wrong never-used word. I think "snapped back appropriately at the concern troll” would be better.

Sticking to fairy tales, Ms. Dowd calls Mr. Obama “preternaturally” (weirdly) gifted and reminds us that he can “ensorcell” (Or “ensorcel” – bewitch [no, he’s a guy – how about enchant?]) us.

In the end, her craftily disguised hunger for Obama is left unrevealed to most. Yet the reader is summoned to be left with the “Yeah, Obama is cool” message.

Even Dowd mentions that “he wants to make government 'cool'” again.

The only problem with that is I can’t remember a time in history when government was considered cool – except perhaps under Mao, and that was mandatory cool or womandatory cool, depending on your point of view.

Dowd gets a little racist again: a black man – an intellect – can say that black men and women “should be better parents by putting away chips and cold Popeye’s for breakfast, and turning off the TV and video games.” You, on the other hand,  should not – or people will begin to confuse you with Ann Coulter.

Dowd wants Obama to leave Trinity Church photos “out of the (his) montage.”

I wonder: does Maureen Dowd say that because Rev. Wright was accurate or mistaken – or because she knows that America’s dirty little secret is racism?


Jeff Koopersmith is a political consultant, opinion research authority, policy analyst, and self-described "renegade lobbyist." He lives in Philadelphia, Washington and Geneva.

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: