On Coulter: “Whoreable” Pun Backfires

Jeff Koopersmith rewards Ann Coulter's hackneyed pun with a list of conservative perverts.

March 14, 2008 – Geneva (apj.us) – I could have bet everything I own that Ann Coulter would jump on the Eliot Spitzer story and use the word “whore” in her headline, and figure out a way to tie Hillary Clinton into the entire mess.

Coulter did not disappoint.

Her column this week is titled “Whoreable Behavior.”

Cute. She must have stayed awake all night to come up with that one.

Just to put you straight, Ann, Google lists more than ten thousand hits for the word “whoreable”.

There is a website called Whoreable. com.

MySpace has a Whoreable site.

There is a rock band called Whoreable.

I rest my case.

Since Ms. Coulter believes that Mr. Spitzer’s forays into the underworld of prostitution are a disaster for Hillary Clinton because people will start thinking about Bill again, let me point out two facts:

  1. When people think of Bill Clinton, they think of eight years of peace, prosperity and the prestige and esteem in which America was held in the world community
  2. While Monica might have been easy, she didn’t charge. Of course I suppose that Coulter is aware of this and simply want to call Lewinsky a whore as well.

At least she didn’t dress like one, Ann.

Since we’re on the topic of sexual indulgence, something Ms. Coulter rejected after her mysterious and all-too-late magical conversion to “Christianity” to the great annoyance of the Church, let’s talk about her heroes and their recklessness.

Where shall I begin?

Oh, I know!

Let’s start with preacher-teacher William “Bill” Bennett, our former drug tsar and cardinal of kinkiness who used to man the pulpit at “Old Americans for Freedom.”

Seems that Bill, the queen of biblical righteousness and the most prosaic proselytizer on the extreme right, has similar difficulties that have propelled him into the recycle bin of history, making him no longer able to sell books like “The Children’s Book of America,” “The Book of Virtues,” and that great follow-up tome “The Book of Virtues for Young People: A Treasury of Great Moral Stories.” I swear to you, I have seen people at book stores actually start to laugh out loud when they see his books marked down 80% at District booksellers.

The Moral Compass -- with the cover we wish we'd seen!He also wrote “The Moral Compass” – his compass being the roulette wheel.

What did Bill Bennett do to deserve this mockery, this mean-spirited ridicule, and all my and other’s past dandy derision? Well the Prince of Piousness had a thing for Las Vegas, and not too long ago it was revealed that he gambled away oh, maybe eight million dollars of his wife’s and children’s legacy.

Bennett got a thrill out of portraying himself as the Minnesota Fats of gaming tables and became a favorite of more than one Whale watcher on the Strip. At least the White Whale watchers because Bennett is also well know for saying this on his radio show which no one but Gary Bauer, in his nightgown, listens to because it comes on at around 4am:

But I do know that it’s true that if you wanted to reduce crime, you could, if that were your sole purpose, you could abort every black baby in this country, and your crime rate would go down.

The meat, though, is Bennett’s reported involvement with the inimitable “Mistress Lee” – Leola McConnell, a bodybuilder, activist, gubernatorial candidate, author and Las Vegas-based dominatrix who claims Bennett paid her on more than one occasion to be his dominatrix and allow him to be the sycophantic submissive of Nevada's “Desert Demon of Virtue.”

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