On Michelle Malkin: Hungry for a Real Man!

She wants a real he-man – who doesn't stay home with the kids because of mental illness

Michelle Maglalang Malkin, poster child for shrill

UPDATE: We get mail from a Malkin sycophant – and reply!  

Jan. 23, 2008 – Geneva (apj.us) – I decided to take a break from reading Ann Coulter's psychotic druvel this weekend and try instead to read American Neocon Cheerleader Ninja-ette Michelle Maglalang Malkin's columns to see if she was as dimwitted as people report.

I can confirm that Malkin seems more Ninja than American – although she adores assuring people that her Filipino parents were in the United States "legally" when she was born.

As if we cared.

The reason Malkin must underscore this fact is that her very own philosophy would have her – in a wink – on a plane to Manila to join Imelda Marcos, a woman whom I do like very much.

I vote for keeping Michelle here in the United States – where we can keep an eye on her.

Malkin, for some mystifying reason, morphed into a Neocon after attending liberal Oberlin College, and flaunts her upper-middle-class American-Filipino personality in almost everything she writes. Filipinos who actually live in the Philippines – and are privileged, as were Malkin's parents – in my experience have no patience with anyone who doesn't work their fingers, backs, and legs to the bone for their "masters." They also tend to worship money (see the Marcoses) and flaunt nationalism – as does Malkin (as long as the citizens are white or yellow, but not Hispanic, or God forbid trapped in a very long and humiliating line waiting for a Green Card).

Michelle malkin, prisoner in a Japanese internment camp
Michelle Malkin is here depicted as a prisoner in an internment camp in a painting by Seattle artist Roger Shimomura . The painting is one of 30 acrylics in Shimomura’s newest exhibit on the Japanese internment. Malkin's outrageous argument that the internment of hunderds of thousands of Japanese-Americans during World War II was justified may well stem more from her own anti-Japanese bigotry than the facts of history, especially given the fact that her fellow conservatives have eviscerated her specious arguments.

When I worked for a think tank I spent many months in Hong Kong – and most of my weekends were used up in Manila, partying with friends at the once marvelous Manila Hotel. I can tell you that twenty years ago, Manila made New York look like a nunnery. I know many Filipinos well, and am familiar with their ethic.

It is clear that Malkin is not a temperate Amerasian. She is a xenophobe, she is arrogant, and she wields a mouth that would put a stevedore to shame. She attempts to be as revolting as is Ann Coulter, but never succeeds, putting out an incoherent, ‘too-short' column each week that can't even pass the laugh test.

Malkin has, however, become the poster girl of the Neocon right because she's sorta a minority, and Neocons love to exploit minorities to prove the GOP isn't racist – yet there are so darn few of them standing stupid in the Neoconservative wing. You can believe Malkin knows this – very well – and is taking advantage of her background in order to eat richly at the ample trough of neo-Nazism.

Michelle is married to one Jesse Malkin – who some claim plays the puppeteer to her marionette and is a "stay-at-home dad" – likely to her chagrin. This may explain her plea for a "man" that can say "No."

Jesse Malkin is also known as a right-wing fanatic and has been such since his college days – also at Oberlin. One has to chuckle at Michelle's bio in Wikipedia – where it claims that she is married to Jesse Malkin, an "economist" at the Rand Corporation. Malkin, it appears, is not an economist at the Rand Corporation – but was once an associate where he specialized in delving into (hamstringing) health care for veterans and the aged. What he's doing at home with his children is your guess – but heck, it's better than sitting around in Santa Monica waiting in vain for the fog to clear.I assume Jesse is just plain crazy from being too bright – and for staying married to Michelle Malkin née Maglalang.

Mr. Malkin was a Rhodes Scholar, which puts him in the same bag with Bill Clinton – but we won't hold that against Bill.

There are others who posit that Jesse Malkin writes most if not all of Michelle's copy and that she only handles "on-air" appearances. No one will ever know for certain until the divorce papers are leaked to the public, but one thing is for sure: Malkin believes she is the Paris Hilton of Neocons, and loves the tube exposure. One can see this in the videos she seems to place everywhere on the websites she controls. I wonder if she sits at home all evening and watches re-runs of herself hosting FOX's Bill O'Reilly Comedy Hour.

Okay, enough Malkin's media whoring. Let's return our attention to Michelle's recent column – the one where she begs for a real man.

Malkin wants a man who can just say "No" to what she calls "Big Nanny government." Here she is making a vain attempt to get someone else in the mainstream media to pick up that weak aphorism so she can copyright or trademark it.

In essence, Malkin wants a president who will turn his back on the poor or incompetent and keep a stiff upper lip when the next depression hits from spending too much on weapons and war. She refers to people in need as "sob stories."

This is funny, coming from a woman whose husband, for all intents and purposes, is a Nanny.

Malkin also believes that people who cannot pay their usurious mortgages are "irresponsible" – as opposed to the weasel banks that nailed their victims on different forms of the same thing called "thieving from the borrower." She is also stupid enough to believe that Congress or the White House is planning to bail out homeowners.

The plan, Ms. Malkin, is to bail out the banks, mortgage insurers, and other lending institutions – the true criminal players, your friends and heroes.

The only group more predatory than the banks of America are most of the microfinancing organizations now charging people who can't afford shoes 25-45% interest on a loan. Yet Ms. Malkin does not want to hear Republicans "recycling the Blame Predatory Lenders rhetoric of Hillary Clinton, John Edwards and Jesse Jackson."

"Enough with the victim card," she adds – while she continues to victimize those who cannot defend themselves.

Obviously Malkin herself wrote this dismally misinformed column, not her "economist" husband – unless of course he is too ill to remember that that the families that may default on their mortgages will not do so because they live in "McMansions they couldn't afford or went crazy tapping their home equity and now find themselves underwater." In fact, only about 11% of so-called sub-prime mortgages have gone bad, and if you look at the lists and zip-codes of these foreclosures, they aren't in areas where smaller mansions are built – they are in communities where income is low. In fact, the banks are lying about the size of their bad loans. This will come out soon – or too late, depending on how cagey their Big Six accounting firms can be.

What's even more ludicrous is Malkin quoteing "economist" Tyler Cowen – best known by most in the Beltway as a dilettante restaurant critic (see "Tyler Cowen's Ethnic Dining Guide") and who is known to be very peculiar, yet I do love his commentary on food.

Cowen is the Holbert C. Harris Professor at something called George Mason University. Personally I don't know who Holbert Harris is or was. And wasn't George Mason one of America's founding slaveholders?

Cowan seems to like George Bush and Condoleezza Rice's foreign policy and penchant for war and the wholesale slaughter of innocent women and children. He thinks that Mr. Bush can stop the ultimate psychopath from blowing up a nuclear Halliburton briefcase in New York City one day.

The fact is – nothing can stop that.

Cowen also labels diplomacy as "Swissafying" nations.


But he does write a good restaurant guide!

So Ms. Malkin, being used herself, "uses" the talking points of Harvard-educated Cowen to prove to you that it's not the Bank of America that is filled with villains – it's the underprivileged borrower, "70% of whom lie on the credit applications."

Neither Cowen nor Malkin cite the truth: that most likely, 90% of everyone else lies on those loan applications – especially the wealthy and especially the corporate borrowers, who can afford to lie. Poor people have no idea how to lie on complicated bank forms – but corporate CFOs certainly know all the tricks.

One wonders what the bank-controlled spy agencies, cutely referred to as "credit reporting services" (for example, Experian) were when all this lying was going on. Oh – I recall! They were charging people one hundred bucks a year to see their "secret" credit "scores" while whoring for lenders to drive interest rates to unconscionable levels based on the excuse that someone didn't score on their hilarious test methodologies.

Just what did America do before Experian and its like were spewed onto the scene? Funny, but the default rate then was far lower. In fact, it is companies like Experian, with their holier-than-thou foreign employees, that force people to lie. I would put credit agencies in the same file as the Gestapo without a second thought.

Cowen, nice little weasel that he is, states, "Too often, mortgage originators and middlemen looked the other way rather than slowing down the process or insisting on adequate documentation of income and assets. As long as housing prices kept rising, it didn't seem to matter."

Ah, I see – they "looked the other way," did they? Well, I thought they just tacked on another six percent per year interest rate to really squeeze the poorest suckers taking on one of their usurious loans. What a ludicrous statement.

Bankers don't look away. They capitalize on anything detrimental on a credit report. Then they loan the money – because they think they can make a killing when the borrower goes belly up.

Nice, yes?

Michelle Malkin wants Washington to "[s]top treating every defaulting borrower like Mother Teresa."

Actually, Washington is treating every defaulting borrower like Mother Teresa: they are ignoring them. Remember one thing, Mrs. Malkin: poor people don't vote. They are too busy working two jobs, so politicians don't pay much attention to them. For example, take a careful look at the poor who live in – or once lived in " New Orleans' Ninth Ward, a largely marginalized, largely African-Americans population whose post-Latrina, FEMA-foisted "diaspora" was intended to turn Louisiana "redder."

Finally, it's worth mentioning that Malkin adores presidential candidate (and total failure) Mike Hucksterbee's statement that "it is not the purpose of government to prop people up from every poor decision they make."

"Amen, Rev. Huckabee," she writes – yet Huckabee is a prima facie disgrace not only to Jesus Christ but men of the cloth who honestly care about people who need a helping hand.

Huckabee and Malkin should be ashamed of each other.

And, to be honest, Huckabee would be right had be been talking about the Bank of America – who reported profits down 95% this week – but also made sure to buy in full Countrywide Mortgage, leader among the sub-prime-lender losers. Countrywide was almost totally owned by the BOA way before this crisis. Bank of America used it as a beard for its own foray into the sub-prime packaging-and-scamming sewer.

It is not the purpose of government to bail out crooked lenderse. Was that not why Jesus threw over the tables in the Temple?

Gosh. Wouldn't it be wonderful if Mr. and Mrs. Malkin were thrown out of their home because they couldn't pay their mortgage. The reason? Because Michelle was banned from publication and appearances – even on FOX News, where she is no longer universally fawned over.

Then we would see.

Jeff Koopersmith is a political consultant, opinion research authority, policy analyst, and self-described "renegade lobbyist." He lives in Philadelphia, Washington and Geneva.

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