They asked me: ?Have a Little Lunch in the Green Zone??

No wonder Bush will give up being Commander in Chief

April 15, 2007 – Baghdad ( – So, there I was a couple days ago sitting with Omar the driver at a table in the "Kafeteria" inside the old Saddam Arena – which is now, appropriately, the Iraqi Parliament building. We were observing some old fellow in a turban giving a press conference to a local television station, when suddenly – poof! – someone's bloody knee lands on my tray, splattering my shrimp cocktail sauce all over my new Hermes tie!

Only later did I realize that the sound of a human bomb explosion knocked out my hearing even before I heard it.  That means the knee traveled faster than the speed of sound, which I chalked up to some Islamic witchcraft.

Jeebus! I thought the Green Zone would be safe since the Bush “surge” – but no! It’s still a human bomb factory! 

I tossed the knee into the ice in my shrimp cocktail boat in the event it could be sewn back and walked casually toward the exit.  All around me men were yelling in Arabic, running around with cell phones in a photographic frenzy, capturing pictures to sell to Al Jazeera.

Total, blood-drenched chaos!

Yet it wasn’t very funny if you are serious. The human bomb managed to kill three members of the Iraqi parliament, acing a few casualties without taking genus into account. In all, he got two Sunnis, a Kurd, and maimed a bunch of Shia parliament members in the Kaf playing mah-jong instead of listening to another boring speech by the Prime Minister.

Bad choice.

Well, I wasn’t hurt – and that’s the important thing, because I am, after all, an American.

Now remember – the Iraqi parliament building-cum-basketball-stadium is not only located in the molto-max-security area of the Green Zone, but one has to go through 32 metal detectors, 12 MRIs, one brain scan, and an x-ray machine to even get close to the Kafeteria.

Some insiders say these jihadists are just trying to prove that the United States is unable to provide protection to anyone or anything in Iraq.

“Trying?” I would say they’ve unequivocally succeeded.

This attack yet again makes a mockery of Surge Boy Bush, and does not bode well for my favorite guy in his administration, the new Secretary of Defense Bob Gates, who really must be going ballistic over the growing turmoil throughout Iraq.

So what’s with the Baghdad Security Plan?  And what will the idiot al-Maliki say about it now?

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