Bush Buddy “Perv” Musharraf of Pakistan Soon to Join Taliban

It may be only a matter of time before Osama bin Laden has access to Pakistan’s nuclear arsenal.


March 31, 2007 – Peshawar – Here I am, dressed in a pallid smock and ragged headdress, itinerant and thoughtfully wandering through the streets of towns I cannot pronounce – for example, Peshawar, in the Pashtun area along Pakistan’s border with Afghanistan.

Who do I run into?  Iftikhar Chaudhry – the super-cool Islamic judge that Generalissimo "Perv" Musharraf fired and which is now causing the general – and Condi Rice – a whole lot of trouble.

To bring you up to date, Musharraf – the idiot president of Pakistan who is supposedly our ally – fired the judge, and now every lawyer in Pakistan is after Musharraf ‘s scalp.  It was not a smart thing to do – but then, Musharraf is not the sharpest scimitar in the drawer. 

Anyway, the judge and I went into the usual smoke-filled shadowy café and shared a hookah – telling jokes about dogs and mice in bars and sharing some secret information.  He told me that the crazier Islamist and jihadist forces are laughing at the Pakistani government as they take advantage of Musharraf‘s highly weakened position with his own people. The truth is that "Perv's" government is almost on its knees, another man, dressed as a harlequin on crack, whispered to me from the next table.

To make a long story shorter, Musharraf 's missteps in Pakistan have emboldened the human bomb genus to take full advantage of Pakistan’s political instability , which is heightened by the fact that it is a nuclear power – a factor that Bush seems not to worry about.

Keep that phrase in mind: "nuclear power."

Here's an example of how seriously the situation has deteriorated: in a hellhole called Zamzola in South Waziristan, where I was bowling the other night with a scantily clad French cocktail waitress named "Chartreuse," I witnessed the most astounding thing. There – right in the bowling alley – the Taliban had set up a Parcheesi table in an attempt to recruit suicide bombers from the Zamzola high school, which had a hundred kids there participating in a tournament.

After a few hours the Pakistani army raided the place – and I must say I thought it was curtains for me and Frenchy.

Worse, there was a suicide attack on the army in Kharian – not on the border, but in Punjab. This was the first attack on a Pakistani military base outside of Pashtun. What does that mean? It means the Taliban is getting stronger, spreading its terror in Pakistan, and Musharraf appears too weak to do much about it.

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