C[h]rist Says No to Touch Screen Voting

Charlie Crist, the Republican governor of Florida, announced yesterday that he desires that his state trash its very expensive touch-screen voting machines so that the election process will yield a paper trail of votes by the time the 2008 presidential election rolls around.

Crist's decision is a direct and rapid reaction to the large number of people who opted to vote by absentee ballot for fear of another Pat Buchanan victory in Palm Beach County.

By the by, Pat Buchanan — who still sometimes hangs out at the Breakers Hotel in Palm Beach — is the kind of presence that drives other people from their tables. Yes, they actually walk out — in mid-meal — when he and his toady wife enter a dining room (or more likely, a bar).  Mr. and Mrs. Pitchfork Pat should instead consider drinking only a mile away, at the palatial home of the drug-addled moron who dominates the EIB network, Rush Limbaugh.  When "America's Oxycontin Detector" walked into a restaurant in town, everyone walked out. So he is now trapped in his manse with neighbor Ann Coulter, who owns a little apartment building in Palm Beach as well.

Talk about the tragically un-hip — don’t they know that Hobe Sound is now the place the be?

If the Florida legislature votes for the $33 million needed to change back to paper ballots that are tabulated on a scanner, Florida will join Virginia and other states about to send their touch screens to the technological boondoggle graveyard.

Too bad dunderhead Jeb Bush didn’t refuse the political (and perhaps other) pay-offs that touch screen "hack box vote" manufacturing companies offered him and others.

The final punch line to the story came when a touch screen industry answered Governor Crist’s announcement by making the ridiculous claim that paper ballot readers — that have been in use since you filled in your first test circle with a number two pencil — are less "accurate" than the touch screens!

You can't help but laugh.

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